Saturday, August 27, 2011

LET ME COUNT THE WAYS

When I was a little kid, I thought the most important thing in a romantic relationship was to have lots in common. I wanted my future boyfriend to love all the same things as I did. He’d absolutely adore The Care Bears, Chinese food, and The Wizard of Oz. As I got older, I realized how cute and adorable this notion is, and while I still think it is helpful to have some things in common with your mate, I now realize that there are plenty more important qualities to make your relationship work.

So what if your boyfriend hates the color pink and you worship it? It’s not a deal breaker, ladies. The most crucial trait your relationship needs is trust. If you can trust your partner, you can weather a lot of other things. But you must also follow up trust with understanding. Now, you don’t have to physically comprehend every little thing about your significant other—it’s pretty impossible—but you should at least try to see where they’re coming from and definitely empathize with them.

Another important aspect of any relationship, romantic or not, is compassion. You must be compassionate towards your partner. When you see them struggle, you should do your best to help them succeed, and when you see them succeed, you should feel genuine joy for them.

Now that I’m old enough to realize that my partner doesn’t have to love The Care Bears as much as I do, one of the most important things in a relationship to me is their level of commitment. We both have to be committed to our relationship and to each other. This is an unspoken promise that we will both work on our relationship every single day and continue to love and support each other. Although, it wouldn’t hurt if he loved Grumpy Bear too.

What traits do you think are important to making a relationship work?

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