FIRST LOVE

They always say that you never forget your first love. Sure, that person may or not be your greatest love, but you will never forget the person one who made your heart go pitter-patter in your chest. Maybe it happened on the playground or in the cafeteria. Or maybe you felt fireworks when meeting a stranger for the first time. No matter how you met, what your courtship was like, or how it ended, your first love will stick with you forever.

And if you don’t end up with your first love, you can still think of that relationship fondly because it was the first one where you opened yourself up to loving someone, and that’s a beautiful thing. So whether you’re still with your first love, have found the love of your life, or are still looking, take a moment to think back to when you first gave a piece of your heart away and cherish that time.

FEEL (A LITTLE BIT) BETTER ABOUT A RECENT BREAKUP

So your boyfriend or girlfriend just dumped you? Stings, doesn’t it? While it can take you months (and sometimes years) to get over them completely, there are small things you can do TODAY to help you cope just a little bit easier.

Identify your triggers for missing your ex. Typically you’ll start obsessing over them in specific instances, such as listening to “your” song or eating at your favorite restaurant. Other times it’s something as seeming harmless as Facebook. Now is the time to remove them completely from your social networks because anytime you see their name pop up, it will sting. It will hurt to know that they are going out and having a great time while you’re at home crying into a pint of ice cream. So, your first step when your breakup is fresh is to remove these triggers from your day.

Secondly, invoke the 30-minute rule. When you feel like calling, emailing, or texting your ex, do something to occupy your time for 30 minutes. Chances are you will be less inclined to call or text them once you’ve thought about something else for a bit. Go for a run, read a book, cook yourself dinner—whatever you can do to think about something else instead of obsessing over your ex will make you feel better.

Make a list of why you’re better off without them. Yeah, this might be hard at first, but truly think of reasons why it was never going to work out anyway.

Create distractions. Call up your chattiest friend or make plans. Don’t turn down any invitations. Your instinct is to just sit at home and wallow, but if you get out into the world, you can feel better NOW even if it’s just a little bit.

JUST THE WAY YOU ARE

Love isn’t about finding the “perfect” person. No one is perfect in this world, but there are people who are perfect for you, and it’s all about trying to find someone who can love you with all of your imperfections.

But sometimes it’s not enough just to tolerate someone’s weird quirks. You really, truly have to embrace them and accept the whole package. My boyfriend knows that I will get irrationally angry when I’m super hungry. Instead of letting it bother him when I rage at him for no reason other than because I’m starving, he merely pops open his backpack and casually slides me a granola bar. It is the little things like this that make me more patient and understanding when he’s running late for the umpteenth time, which threatens my hyper punctual nature.

So, remember there is no such thing as a perfect man or woman. Everyone comes with their own little oddities that will drive you nuts sometimes, but it’s all about learning to accept them and loving the person as a complete picture. Because no beautiful work of art is completely flawless—and neither is love.

TURN YOUR BREAK-UP INTO A STEP-UP!

We’ve all had at least one tough breakup, and if not, then you will. It’s always tough to start over from scratch. Even more than that, some people take a very long time to heal. I’ve come to realize that there is some good in a breakup, but it’s up to you to see the glass half-full instead of half-empty.

Quick facts about a break-up;
– If you lost it, then it wasn’t real love. Real love doesn’t leave; it lasts while getting stronger in the process.
– If you lost it, then that means there is something better out there for you.
– If you refuse to feel the pain of it, you will never be able to heal from it.

So now the question becomes, ‘how do I get over the break-up?’

1.) You have to change the way you view it. Instead of seeing the person as a lifetime partner you lost, see them as a seasonal partner who ran their course and taught you some valuable lessons about life and love.
2.) Identify where you are in your life and where you would like to be.
3.) Then set new goals for yourself, make a plan of action and begin the execution of your plan.
4.) While executing your plan, begin studying REAL LOVE and healthy relationships. Identify where your last relationship went wrong so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes.
5.) Love yourself (choose happiness no matter your circumstance or situation).
6.) Reopen your heart for love. You don’t have to go searching for love, but work on becoming the type of person who you would want to love and then love will find you.
7.) Go into your next relationship wiser, stronger, and free of any baggage.

Taking these steps in overcoming a breakup will help you tremendously. We live and we learn. Don’t live life looking through the rear view mirror because things will always seem closer than they really are. Look forward on your journey. Trust me when I tell you that there are much bigger and better things to come!

Signed,
Tony A. Gaskins Jr.

DEAR YOU, LOVE ME

NEVER SETTLE, YOU DESERVE BETTER

They always say, “never settle for less.” Never be okay with receiving less than you deserve. But how do you know what you deserve? You find yourself in a relationship where he doesn’t remember every little thing. But that’s okay, you tell yourself, because it’s not like you’ll find a guy who does. You don’t feel like the number one thing in his life, but are you ever going to find someone like that? Probably not, you tell yourself. So you take what you can get, because you realize you probably won’t get more than this.

Your heart will disagree though. Every time he forgets to call, your heart will cry out and ask why he forget. Every time he misses an event, your heart will demand to know what’s more important than you. Every time this happens, your heart will fracture a little more until one day you wake up and find you’re holding an unrecognizable pile of shattered pieces which once used to be your heart. You will know when you are receiving less. When you start to doubt and begin to wonder if you’re doing something wrong, then it’s less. When you lie awake at night and dream of something more, then you know it’s less. If you dream of someone else, then he’s definitely less.

So let me tell you one more time. You deserve the best. If you don’t feel a 100% of effort in the relationship, then it’s not what you deserve. Don’t feel the need to stay just because. If you don’t want to be in the relationship, leave. Break up and move on. Learn and look. Look for something better, because you deserve the best and nothing less.

And one day, you will find it and it will be so perfectly amazing. There will be ups and downs, but even at its worse it will be better than those other relationships at their best. So keep looking. Don’t give up.

Rose Rice

http://findingloveinlife.webs.com

LOVE IS EVERYWHERE

Sometimes we feel it, sometimes we don’t; but we always need it, we always crave it.

Don’t look for love, let love do the looking. It’s always out there, sometimes it’s hidden, but be patient, it will find you.